What do you do…

…when you have been so consumed with your own trivial life? With the meaningless everyday tasks that you must go through with? With the responsibilities that you are tied to? When you have been basically non-existent in their life… only to hear over the phone one day that your best friend has passed away???

How can I simply let go of something like this. I am filled with so much regret, sadness, and anger. I wish I had been a better friend. I wish I was half the person my best friend was. But most of all, I wish I could bring her back.

Well, I realize that I can’t bring her back, but I refuse to let her go from my heart, my thoughts, and my memory. I am trying so hard to cope with this pile of nonsense that has suddenly fallen in my lap. How did it happen? I have no idea. Could I have done something to prevent it? I have no idea…

Dear Veronica,

It would be impossible for me to describe to you what and how much you meant to me, but I will try, and hopefully there is some sort of internet connection up above through which you can receive my message. You are a phenomenal human being in every sense of the word. Your kindness, compassion, generosity, and warmth have changed my life. I met you when I was in a time of darkness and was dealing with my own demons, but you lifted my spirits higher than I could have ever imagined!

You are also undoubtedly one of the most intelligent, culturally-rich, and creative individuals I have ever known. I know that you would have done wonderful and great things in the world. And what a shame it will be to not have you here, our world could certainly use someone with your intellect and ethical reasoning.

Saying goodbye to you is one of the most difficult things that I have ever had to do in my life, but I hope with all my heart that you are in a much better place… a place of peace, serenity, and eternal happiness.

I want to thank you so much for all of the happiness that you have brought to my life. You have helped me at my most desperate times, you have been there when I needed it most, and you have offered me hope when times seemed almost hopeless.

I know this is not much, but I want to dedicate my thesis to you. You have always cared and fought so hard for the equal rights of all people and so I feel that this paper and my topic will hopefully serve your name justice.

Thank you for being an incredible inspiration and part of my life. I am deeply sorry that I wasn’t there for you more; I wish I could and would have been a better friend.

I love you dearly, always.

Maria

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